We headed to the Froedert Cancer center for our 11am appointment to discuss treatment options. We were there for over 4 hours talking to numerous Dr.s, oncologists, and clinical trial coordinators. We learned of a clinical trial of a new lung cancer treatment that's taking place in multiple hospitals across the country. Jen agreed to take part in it. We go in tomorrow morning to take the extra tests required to make the trial scientific. After that it will be a 50/50 chance she receives the extra chemo or standard care.
I pressed the Dr. several times for percentages and outlooks. Of course he didn't give specifics. They can't. But he didn't mince words either. This is cancer. It's serious. Based on it's locations and stage she cannot be cured of it. It will remain in her system. She could have a month left or several years left, it all depends on how the tumors react to the treatment.
If she does not get into the trial chemo begins on Thursday next week. We've been told to expect a VERY long day, a full 12 hours worth of chemo. I believe that's because they want to introduce each of the 3 drugs separately to rule out any interactions. Regardless, it's going to be a long day for Jen.
If she does get in the trial it may take until the next week to get the extra medicine. I hate to waste any seconds before we start chemo. However, the doctor assured me that a week one way or the other doesn't make a difference. If the tumors respond to drugs the week is insignificant. Part of me doesn't believe it but regardless, I can't get the drug here sooner. So it has to be.
We told the kids just before dinner tonight. It actually went better than expected. I didn't really have anything prepared but it went along the lines of:
You're smart kids so you know things are going on
Yes your mom is sick, and it is cancer
Many people get cancer and live
We have the best doctors working on it and they have a plan for mom
Her treatment may make her more ill and tired but its makeing her better
It's OK to be mad, or scared, or sad, or cry
You can ask me anything I'll give you the answer if I know it or we'll try to get an answer together
You can talk to us at any time
I'm not sure they really grasp the magnitude of the situation. That will come in time. It may get harder then
I really wish Jen wasn't the center of this. But the lessen I hope everyone internalizes is this: tell the people you love that you love them, now. Spend the time with them now. Ignite the moment now. Don't wait for some special occasion or place or circumstance. We kid ourselves into thinking that our professions or careers can take front and center for a while and we'll "make it up" to our loved ones once we get ahead or things settle down at the office. You may not get that chance.
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